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Primordial Plot
As a doctor and his workers pull several 30 million old bones which have not undergone the fossilization process out of pools of oil, Wild Weasel flies his Cobra plane above the archeological dig and fires at the people on the ground. The men scatter and the doctor asks the foreman if they have paid off all of the government officials. The foreman tells the doctor that they have made all the right bribes and Wild Weasel lands, picks up a few bones and flies away after placing a radio call to let Cobra headquarters know that the first part of the plan is complete. Inside a building at Massey Laboratory, Dr. Massey stands behind a table and announces to the audience that they are about to find out whether they have accomplished a miracle or squandered their investors' money. An egg inside a glass box cracks and Dr. Massey, who is standing behind the table, picks up a garden snake and declares the cloning project a success. However, Roberts, a Cobra agent who is wearing a communicator watch, signals a F.A.N.G. and the Crimson Guard Commanders tell the F.A.N.G. pilot to proceed. Roberts strips off his lab coat in order to reveal his Crimson Guard uniform, congratulates Dr. Massey on behalf of Cobra, grabs the man and after the Cobra F.A.N.G. destroys the wall behind Roberts, a net is dropped onto the pair and they are whisked away. Under foggy skies, Scarlett, Gung-Ho and Roadblock listen to Flint explain that the Intelligence Department believes that Cobra has an island in the South Pacific where experiments on cloning dinosaurs are taking place. Gung Ho scoffs at the idea of dinosaurs roaming the land again, however, Scarlett walks up to Gung Ho, places a hand on his shoulder and reminds him: "Cobra has an irritating habit of doing the impossible." Roadblock counters that the dinosaurs will need at least 30 years to grow up and become dangerous, which is just in time for the Joes' retirement. Airtight enters the room and shoots down Roadblock's attempts at levity as he tells the Joes that Dr. Massey has also developed a rapid growth serum, and Roadblock is so impressed and worried that he replies, "Whoa! Instant monster." Deep Six radios Flint that he has found a weird island that is not on the map. Flint tells Deep Six that the entire planet has been mapped, but a Cobra Rattler appears and Deep Six dives into the ocean. Flint promises to send help before Deep Six can say - "Over and out," Deep Six says, beating Flint to his own reply. Radar dishes swivel, missile launchers turn and Crimson Guards drive Cobra Ferrets on the island. Inside a base, Destro looks at the bug-infested swamp and listens to Cobra Commander tell him that the world was once ruled by reptiles and will soon be again, but the reptile in power will be Cobra. Destro turns from the windows and explains that he doesn't see any wisdom in Cobra Commander's plan, but Cobra Commander turns to Tomax and Xamot, who explain that they have acquired the bones and one "slightly used scientific genius in a disposable container." As the twins laugh at their joke, Cobra Commander tells Dr. Massey that he has enough bones to create an infinite number of dinosaurs and suggests that the doctor start right away. "Infinity is a very big number," Cobra Commander adds. Gung-Ho, Scarlett and Flint each fly a Skystriker to search for the island and Gung Ho believes they have found the place since the island looks weird to him. While Dr. Massey scrapes the bones under the watchful eyes of Destro and Cobra Commander, an alarm in the base is heard as the Joes fly over the island. Cobra's missile defense shoot down the Skystrikers and Gung Ho and Scarlett bail out. However, Flint is unable to eject because his controls are locked. Smoke fills the cockpit of Flint's Skystriker and he crashes into a swamp. Scarlett and Gung-Ho run to help their teammate. Flint shoots the canopy of his plane and dives into the waters of the swamp before the Skystriker explodes. Scarlett and Gung-Ho arrive and watch the plane explode. Gung-Ho tells Scarlett that he thought Flint was going to escape and asks what they should do next. With a great sadness in her voice, she tells Gung-Ho, "We carry on." They turn to walk away, but a loud gasping noise is heard behind them. They turn around and watch Flint climb out of the water and ask, "Does anyone have an aspirin?" The Joes immediately run for cover as three Crimson Guards on Cobra Ferrets arrive. Deciding that no one could have survived the plane crash, the Cobra agents leave and Flint, Scarlett and Gung-Ho come to the realization that since they do not have a radio to call an airstrike and rescue party, they will have to attack Cobra's fortress by themselves. Much to his own surprise, Dr. Massey successfully creates three dinosaurs. Meanwhile, the Joes continue to march through the island's jungle and Flint and Scarlett listen to Gung-Ho complain about not being able to satisfy some of his primal urges, such as food and sleep. However, Scarlett tries to lighten the mood by joking that the place should remind Gung-Ho of home. "It does," replies Gung-Ho. "Now you know why I left." The dinosaurs are placed in a tank of water and after Cobra Commander orders the tank to be drained, he allows Destro his "brief moment of glory" by letting him activate a machine to brainwash the dinosaurs. Flint and the other Joes march through a jungle and they find the Cobra base while Gung-Ho's stomach growls loudly. "If that isn’t the luck of the Irish," states Scarlett. As Flint states that he is not Irish, growls from the base are heard by the Joes. "Let's just pretend it's the wind," Scarlett half-wishes. As Cobra Commander watches several Crimson Guards use guns that shoot electricity in order to direct the dinosaurs to the brainwashing pit, he hears them shout, "All right, you overgrown iguanas - let's move it!" Cobra Commander turns to the Crimson Guard Commanders and tells them, "Your Crimson Guards are either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid." But the twins explain to Cobra Commander that their guards are neither, but, rather, they simply have an unusual idea of how to have a good time. Once the minds of the creatures have been quieted by Destro's brainwashing machine, Destro informs Cobra Commander that the he can now use the cybernetic control disk to order the dinosaurs. Placing the disk near his head, Cobra Commander tells the reptiles to stifle themselves. The Crimson Guards lower their guns and are surprised to see the dinosaurs become dead silent. As the Joes approach the base, Flint hopes that Dr. Massey isn't the dinosaurs' first dinner. But after Scarlett points out that the doctor would only be an appetizer, Gung-Ho grabs his stomach and asks the others to please stop talking about food. The Joes trip a light sensor and Destro tells Cobra Commander that the Joes have survived. To the dismay of Dr. Massey, who tells Cobra Commander that he must feed the dinosaurs, Cobra Commander orders the reptiles to be released and tells Dr. Massey: "Feed them? That's exactly what I plan to do!" And Cobra Commander laughs in his insane, raspy voice. The Joes watch the doors at the bottom of the Cobra base swing open and they retreat as the dinosaurs walk out. Flint takes a shot at one of the dinosaurs, but after his laser shots bounce off the creature, Flint and Scarlett dive for cover as a tree is smashed down by an angry dinosaur. Gung-Ho tells the Joes that he will wrestle one of the smaller ones, which looks like an alligator, but the Joe who wrestled gators in his youth asks his teammates upon seeing the huge dinosaur, "Would you believe chameleons?" A camera rises from the ground and Cobra Commander recognizes Gung-Ho and then orders the dinosaurs to devour him. Gung-Ho rejoins his teammates and Scarlett tells Flint, "I thought dinosaurs were supposed to be stupid." Flint replies, "They just don't make them like they used to." Scarlett spots the camera and after Gung-Ho picks the camera off with a shot from his gun, Cobra Commander then tells the others that he will have to rely on the dinosaurs' instincts for food to destroy the Joes. Destro, who is unimpressed with the turn of events, suggests that using the instincts of the dinosaurs may help them learn why they became extinct. But Cobra Commander is not impressed with the play on words. Destro turns to a group of Crimson Guards who are drinking coffee and donuts and tells them that they should be looking for the Joes. However, they respond that they will look after their coffee break. "We're union, you know?" one adds. "Move it!" Destro yells, and every Crimson Guard runs out of the room saying "Yessir" in fearful voices. Flint leads the Joes to a cave and the Crimson Guards arrive on Cobra Ferrets behind the dinosaurs who are pursuing the Joes. A small dinosaur enters the cave and attacks Flint, who tries to crawl away as Gung-Ho and Scarlett shoot at the dinosaur, but Flint's backpack is ripped away. Scarlett realizes that the reptiles are only after the Joes' foodpacks, so she pierces her foodpack with an arrow, stands close to the opening of the cave and shoots the foodpack toward the Crimson Guards. One of the Cobra agents picks the arrow up and comments that the weapon looks quite strange, then he looks up and sees all of the dinosaurs bearing down on him. The Crimson Guards retreat and after the dinosaurs destroy the Cobra Ferrets and Stingers, Flint finds some dynamite in the debris and tells the Joes, "This should come in real handy." As Destro explains that no mind control device can control the need for food, Cobra Commander threatens to feed both Destro and Dr. Massey to the reptiles. Flint orders Scarlett and Gung-Ho to rescue Dr. Massey while he prepares a welcome for Cobra with the explosives. Firing a hook with rope attached, Scarlett and Gung-Ho scale the side of the cliff, burst into the command room by breaking through a window and kicks Cobra Commander to the ground. Dr. Massey yells for Gung-Ho to grab Cobra Commander's command disk, but as soon as he jumps on top of Cobra Commander and yells "Gimmie," Scarlett calls Gung-Ho's name with a reminding tone in her voice and the Joe looks up and sees that he is surrounded. Wishing to demonstrate Gung-Ho's stupidity, Cobra Commander challenges Gung-Ho to explain what he would have told the dinosaurs if he had the control disk since the fortress is impregnable. Gung-Ho rubs the back of his neck and explains that they didn't plan on bringing the dinosaurs to the fortress but did plan on bringing the fortress to the dinosaurs. Flint's dynamite explodes and the foundation of the base is rocked. Scarlett knocks her Crimson Guard captors aside, grabs the disk and orders the reptiles to wreak havoc on the base. The disk is knocked out of her hand by the Crimson Guards and Dr. Massey picks up the rolling disk and is told by Flint, who climbs through the broken window, to tell the dinosaurs that food is available in the base. Cobra Commander tackles Dr. Massey and the disk flies out of the window and out of the reach of everyone. Every Joe and Cobra stands horrified as they realize that no one can control the reptiles. The dinosaurs enter the base and begin to destroy everything in sight. As a dinosaur enters the command room, Destro punches a button on each of his metal gloves and rockets on each glove ignite and allow him to fly away. But before he takes off, Tomax and Xamot ask before laughing, "Mind if we hitch a ride?" They each grab a foot and fly away. The Joes, Dr. Massey and Cobra Commander jump out of the window and tumble down the hill to escape the sharp jaws of one of the dinosaurs. At the bottom of the hill, Flint asks if everyone is okay, and after learning that no one was hurt, he then orders Cobra Commander to come with the Joes, unfortunately, Cobra's leader has escaped. Scarlett wonders what the Joes should do with the dinosaurs and Dr. Massey suggests that his investors would probably like to open a museum, however, Flint interrupts and tells Dr. Massey that the investors "can suck eggs" since the Joes are leaving and Dr. Massey can stay. "Any questions?" Flint asks the doctor menacingly. "Yeah," Gung-Ho says. "Where's the grub?" Scarlett points to the crates of food which are being devoured by the dinosaurs and tells Gung-Ho that he will have to share. However, Gung-Ho's own primal urges for food urge him forward and he tells the dinosaurs: "Move over, boys! I'm famished!" |Appearing1= Featured Characters Featured Vehicles & Equipment |MemorableQuotes1='Gung-Ho': I'm so hungry even our food packets are looking good. Flint: Don't eat, Gung-Ho. We've got to conserve food. Who knows how long we'll be here. Gung-Ho: Great! Next thing you'll be telling me is that we can't sleep. Flint: Well, if you want to bunk out in this oozing swamp, be my guest. Gung-Ho: All right, but I've got some primal urges to satisfy and the top two on my list are food and shelter. Scarlett: What are you complaining about, Gung-Ho? I thought this place would remind you of home. Gung-Ho: It does! Now you know why I left! :--The Joes manage to keep their spirits light even in the worst situations. |Glitches1=*While walking in their Headquarters, the Joes walk through a large piece of equipment. *In one scene, the Crimson Twins' sashes are colored grey instead of red. *A Triceratops walks through a wall. |Errors1=*Deep Six found the island - where was he while Flint, Scarlett and Gung-Ho were there? |ItemsOfNote1=*The idea of an island full of dinosaurs is shared with Hasbro's other major '80s property, Transformers, where they had Dinobot Island. *The "Now you know..." segment attached to this episode involved Mutt teaching kids how to stay away from stray dogs. |RealWorldRefs1=*After crashing his plane, Flint asks for an aspirin. *Any similarity between this episode and Jurassic Park is just coincidental.Unless Michael Crichton was a closet G.I. Joe fan. |Footnotes= }} Category:Sunbow episodes Category:1985